Archive for the ‘feminism’ Category

Psychscribe Quote # 56

March 10, 2009

For my friend VanessaLeigh, who organized a vigil acknowledging the eve of the beginning of testimony regarding Prop 8 in California:

“Moral cowardice that keeps us from speaking our minds is as dangerous to this country as irresponsible talk. The right way is not always the popular and easy way. Standing for right when it is unpopular is a true test of moral character.”  Margaret Chase Smith

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Psychscribe Quote #54

February 9, 2009

 

“I am not a has-been. I am a will be.” Lauren Bacall

 

Earlier photo:


Psychscribe Quote #50

January 5, 2009

“It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.” 

                      quote by Emiliano Zapata Salazar (8 August1879 – 10 April1919),  a leading figure in the Mexican Revolution against the dictatorship of Porfirio Díaz that broke out in 1910. Source: Wikipedia.

If I Were To Die Today (Part 3- Relationship with Self))

December 19, 2008

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Image copyright Jupiter Images 2008

Myself? I’m happy with who I am and what I’ve done in this life.  It took me a long time to grow up. Very long. Through one marriage and into the second, where I finally, finally grew my wings. (Thank to the snuggy, supportive nest my Alph made for me.)

I went back to college  pregnant with my second child and delivered her between semesters. Twenty five years later that child became my colleague and partner in our  psychotherapy practice. Imagine that?!! The joy I feel from this is beyond measure or description.  But more than that, I love that we are able to give our services to those who cannot afford it.  Kind of like Robin Hood. We get the max from our affluent clients and give it back, time wise, to our less fortunate ones.

I’ve learned to enjoy fun. I never played at all until a few years ago when I looked at some application which asked me to list my hobbies. I didn’t have any. For me, an A type, learning, seminars, learning, work were all I ever wanted to do.  (Tightly held secret: we shrinks rarely apply to ourselves the very things we try to teach our clients.)  It so bothered me that I thought: what have I always wanted to try? For me?  That turned out to be decoupage. Hours and hours of learning how to do it, but playing, enjoying the process, the creativity. Creativity had always been what sustains me, but I’d put it aside in my quest for achievement. Now I’m making jewelry. Another joy in the process. If my efforts produce lovely results, great! If not, I still had fun.  I’m also  waiting for my new camera to arrive (thank you, Amber, for putting the bug in me!) because I’m longing to express myself by capturing the other love of my life: nature.

If I should die today, my career goals would have been accomplished. I would die knowing  that I became the therapist I always wanted to be, who  helped a lot of people. The ones whose heartfelt thanks cannot begin to be measured and who I will never, ever forget. The ones who trusted me with their pain and their wounds, who inspired me with their courage, and who taught me so much. 

Have I become the woman I wanted to be? Well that, too, was an evolving process.  First I wanted to be a homemaker and stay at home mom. When that changed and I wanted to get an education and a career, the trouble started in my first marriage. That’s not what he signed on for. And in all fairness, that’s not what I’d originally agreed to.  We were so young. We just couldn’t navigate these choppy waters. We were only 21 when we married for goodness sake! Babies! What did we know about relationships? Giving?Flexibility? Growth and change? Nothing. Nothing at all.

It was a very painful divorce. Volatile, yet so sad. But as Carol Burnett once said, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. 

My onset of lupus and subsequent stroke have actually been blessings too. Not a life lesson I would  have chosen, but they were not exactly electives in the school of my life.  I’ve had to learn to rely on others which has been a humbling experience. A giver all my life (parentified child) it has been hard to learn to receive. Also…very nice…and quite beautiful.  And, of course, having come so close to death, I’ve learned to appreciate every moment of every day, and to thank God for the gift of my life. 

I read somewhere once that we’re bound by our fate only as long as we accept the values that determine it. I never forgot that. In fact, reading that, and getting it, is probably what changed my life. I got rid of my culturally imposed role of what a woman should be, and I learned to define myself. My self. MY self.  

I learned that personal authenticity is my primary value, and always will be. 

So if I should die today, I would die happy with my journey. Happy that I died as ME.

OJ Didn’t Mean It

December 10, 2008

Yeah right. The judge in this case is on record as saying that she’s not here for paybacks…But from a non legalese standpoint, paybacks are a bitch. 🙂

Psychscribe Quote #44

November 2, 2008

 

 

 

HARRIET BEECHER STOWE:

“So much has been said and sung of beautiful young girls, why don’t somebody wake up to the beauty of old women?”

Jennifer Hudson “Domestic Issues”

October 25, 2008

By now we all know that Jennifer Hudson’s mother and brother were recently murdered. The media, noting that there is a male suspect,  reports a history of “domestic issues”. 

That phrase, or its twin “domestic dispute” is a  terribly  insidious euphemism. It suggests an issue or dispute over who left the socks on the floor or disagreements over household operations. When you hear it often enough in the news, the real meaning becomes so diluted that its impact upon society  becomes diluted.

For purposes of my post this morning, let me give you the exact definition I found at good old dictionary.com: 

euphemism – the substitution of a mild, indirect, or vague expression for one thought to be offensive, harsh, or blunt.

Of course domestic violence is what’s really being substituted here.  Bland domestic disputes don’t result in a woman calling the police for help. Bland domestic disputes don’t invoke public outrage or action.  I worked for two years in an agency for battered women. Speaking from first hand experience, here are what “domestic disputes” and “domestic issues” look like. And yes, these images are offensive, harsh, and blunt.  Just like the domestic violence that was committed against women such as these. 

 

One out of every four women is assaulted by an intimate partner every day. We need more public awareness, education, advocacy and funds to help a cause much closer to home than we might think. Domestic violence crosses all socioeconomic lines.  It could happen to you, your sister, your mother, your daughter. It’s about time the legal system stopped protecting the public from offensive, harsh reality and started protecting the victims of the offensive, harsh reality.
If you need help, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE.
        

Psychscribe Quote # 42

October 1, 2008

 

 

“No one is more arrogant toward women, more aggressive or scornful, than the man who is anxious about his virility.” Simone de Beauvoir

Psychscribe Quote #40

August 12, 2008

MARGARET SANGER:

“A free race cannot be born of slave mothers.”

Women Who Run with the Wolves

August 1, 2008

This was a book that was very popular a long time ago, all about female identity and breaking free of culturally imposed “shoulds and should nots” and living from, and for, our souls. Its written by a Jungian therapist.  For some reason I just could never get into the written version, try as I might. Now, years later, I’m doing audio books as I commute to work and I’m listening to her narrate the book.

Its wonderful!!!! She talks about myth and fairy tales and what they really say about women and it is just so thought provoking and inspiring. Her voice is enchanting and I can’t recommend it enough.

Enjoy your day!

Flickr banned from my blog

June 24, 2008

I had it on here because I thought that random photos appearing on my blog would add an element of interest.  And until today it did. But I just saw one that is truly evil looking – a black and white photo of a woman with what appears to be a plastic bag over her face. That’s not art, in my blog. Its objectification of women to the degree of horror.

Slime Helped OJ Get Away With Murder

May 10, 2008

I will not even dignify the slime by writing his name here, or help him by promoting his book. I’m sure you noticed all the news hoopla about the tell all book. He reports that weeks after the arrest Simpson, high on drugs and alcohol, confessed to killing Nicole and Ron Goldman.  He confesses to helping Simpson get away with murder by advising him not to take his arthritis medication so his hands would swell and the glove wouldn’t fit- a key factor in the acquittal.

I don’t know the law, but it just feels like this guy should get in trouble for something

I remember being so shocked when I watched the not guilty verdict live that I screamed no! and threw something at the TV. Such a travesty of justice. Worse yet, my daughter was in high school at the time, and they were watching it in class. She said the boys cheered at the verdict.

I’ve always wondered what the kids grew up believing.

Did this news story trigger anyone else like it did me?

Psychscribe Quote #30

April 19, 2008

“Dying is less sad than having lived too little.” Gloria Steinem

Polygamist Abuse

April 18, 2008

Ok, ok, I know there is no proof yet, no evidence, but I read Carol Jessup’s book “Escape” and I believed it. The horrors she describes of beatings and sexual abuse of children, of women and children basically being slaves to the men due to God supposedly speaking thru their leader, were believable and sickening.  Women and children removed from a man with no power or clout in the community, being “re-assigned” to a different man,  who would then become the new husband and father. Pubescent girls being married and forced into sex with men old enough to be their grandfathers…The favorite wife abusing  the other wives, and the children of those wives,  with full authority of the husband. And the only way to attain power and status in the family and the community was for a girl/woman to force herself to entice the man who revolted her into sharing her bed as often as possible….thus rising in the ranks to the favored, alpha female position…

So this is their culture, this is all they know, and here is the controversy…how can you take children from their mothers (we don’t have to worry about attachment in the musical chairs daddy game) in a situation like this?

How can you NOT?

 

Slow Suicide, Ladies?

April 16, 2008

Hurray for the French! They’ve proposed a bill banning those awful websites like ana and mia that teach women how to be successfully anorexic or bulimic. Proponents of the bill  say it would curb the awful prevalence of these psychiatric disorders. Opponents say it would have no impact. I say it would.

Cultural values spawn bigots, racists, sexists, and homophobics. It makes sense that the cultural worship of female emaciation as the norm spawns desperation in some women to live up to the sick standard of the fashion industry. And unfortunately the  female culture itself.  Imagine if we had a movement, and websites, which substituted the words “slow suicide” as a means of attaining physical beauty?

The culture of the internet is not to be underestimated. After all, what are you doing right now?

 

Psychscribe Quote # 29

April 11, 2008

“We are bound by our fate only as long as we accept the values that determine it.” Helen Deutsch

Which Woman Do You Most Admire for Women’s History Month?

March 31, 2008

I love this question and think about it every year….this year the theme is women artists..But try as I might I always come up with Rosa Parks. Not an unusual choice, perhaps. But can you imagine the courage it took for her to sit in the front of the bus???

As for an artist (however you may define artist) I nominate Georgia O’Keefe, because she also was very brave in the images she painted:

Fibromyalgia: I’ve Now Joined the Club-Youtube

March 27, 2008

There is often an overlap between lupus, fibromyalgia and arthritis, and now that is happening to me. So now, me being me, you will be seeing articles, links, etc. on this “fun” diagnosis on here in addition to my lupus stuff. But since my medical conditions do not define who I am, mostly this blog will continue to be the usual bits and pieces.  My hands are hurting these days so I’m sorry if I’m not answering everyone’s comments. I do so appreciate them and will catch up when I am feeling better. In the meantime, carpe diem!…..Oh, I found a wonderful, touching YouTube about fibro by elainejamie :


The Prodigal Daughter

March 13, 2008

The Prodigal Daughter

Thanks to a class offered by a

soft spoken South American professor

who preaches the gospel of creativity

I am whole again.

Seeking the power of steel beams and girders

I had tossed my Muse (my dearest friend) into the sea.

I needed muscle

not watercolor dreams leading nowhere.

I learned to weld and solder

to read blueprints and gauge distances

to hammer and sweat in the sun

until mine was as big as his.

I forgot how to cry.

Finally one say in class (for three credits)

I walked alone across the bridge that

I had built with my own two hands and

found my Muse waiting there

like an indulgent mother

for me to call her name.

Now words and colors and images

leap and dance before my eyes

and I paint golden wildflowers on my bridge

and I sing purple poems

and my tears fall freely now

because I have come home again,

transformed.

It is indeed a form of prayer.

 

by Pyschscribe copyright 2008

Psyschscribe Quote # 19

February 27, 2008

“If we want our daughters to live out their hopes and dreams for the future, we can live out our own dreams.”   Sally Gelardin from her book The Mother-Daughter Relationship.

Psychscribe Quote #18

February 25, 2008

“Don’t compromise yourself.” Janis Joplin

Psychscribe Quote #17

February 22, 2008

“I call up my names: Woman who has been born in the arms of a woman and welcomed home. I shout truth teller, silence breaker, life embracer, death no longer fearing, woman reunited with her child self.  I sing woman who is daughter, sister, lover and mother to herself.   I hum woman planter, gatherer, healer.  I drum woman, warrior, siren, woman who stands firmly on her feet, woman who reaches inward to her center and outward to stars.  I am woman who is child no longer, woman who is making herself sane, whole. ”  Andrea R. Canaan

More on Alpha Females

February 7, 2008

Khaki sent me a post that is so interesting on this topic: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/frans-de-waal/alpha-females-i-have-know_b_63400.html 

Are You an Alpha Female?

January 20, 2008

I know they exist, and I know I am one. I tried to find some objective definitions of alpha females but couldn’t find any. So my working definition is that an alpha female is strong, confident, and a leader.  The problem is that many people of both genders really can’t stand alpha females  I think this is because they feel threatened.  A man who is a strong, confident leader is an alpha. A female who is a strong, confident leader is a bitch. What do you think?