A True Confession About Friends

TwoWomen_1914

Artist: Diego Rivera

 

As I get older, I’m becoming more and more of a loner.  That is to say, I prefer my own company to the company of others. Given the choice of a visit with a friend, or reading or writing or creating, I will always choose the latter.  I’m going to say what is true for me, even though it sounds awful. After about a half hour visit, I get bored. Yes. I get bored. Because my mind drifts away to my interior landscape from which my creativity springs, and I want to get back to it. To whatever medium I’m working in. I don’t want to listen very long to  somebody’s daily travails or about their their kids or daily lives.  I feel trapped,  a captive audience.  Phone calls are the same for me. Maybe even worse. Because they have to be returned if I want to have any friends at all.

So why do I want them, you may be asking yourself.  Well…because I love them! And I care about them. And when the chips are down, they’re there for me and I’m there for them.  I think maybe  its just that in this fifth decade of my life, my identity is morphing into an artist and I have no patience for daily minutiae.

Also, the more I think about it, a man would never even write this post or have these thoughts. Men don’t chat about their daily lives. Most of the ones I know are very much bottom line kinds of people. Phone calls serve a function, as in : where are we going and what time are we meeting? Men do things together. Women seem to talk about things more. …A cultural thing, I guess.

 How could Psychscribe admit to such mean thoughts? Because it is my truth. Does this sound really awful?

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7 Responses to “A True Confession About Friends”

  1. leakelley Says:

    This post rings so true to me right now (also entering my fifth decade)!
    I am reading Dancing in the Flames by Marion Woodman and Elinor Dickson. Have you heard of this book?

    Good, glad to have you aboard my ship! Haven’t read the book……what’s it about?

  2. viv66 Says:

    I’m pretty much the same, Psych and it isn’t mean at all to think or feel this.
    I spent a fairly lonely winter, because I chose not to go along to the various social crap I might have gone to, but loneliness is not always a problem. I cut loose from two online forums to the same reason..

    Yes, and then there is a distinction between loneliness and being alone. I’m not lonely.

  3. J Says:

    No it doesn’t sound awful at all! I was quite stunned reading it because it’s as if you read my thoughts on the subject. I am of the male species and I do have these thoughts!!
    I live alone and spend a lot of time on my own, which I really enjoy, except the rare occassions where loneliness may kick in. However, I have felt more lonely in the company of other people than I have ever felt on my own.
    Luckily I do have people in my life I never feel bored spending time with.

    I am so happy I read this.

    Hugs

    J

    And I am so happy reading your response! Hugs right back atcha!

  4. viv66 Says:

    Loneliness that you understand and are not resentful of is quite different from the acheing hunger for any human contact that can drive us at times. It almost isn’t the same animal; it’s almost wistful and regretful where the other is a raw angry appetite.
    I went to my first session of the beekeeping course last night and felt oddly content. There were over 30 people attending and almost all of them I knew I had something quite powerful in common with. I’ve also been given a serendipitious nudge towards a possible new career(not the bees!) that I aim to look into soon..

    Oh, good Viv! Sounds like there is sunlight on your horizon. Hugs, Psych

  5. viv66 Says:

    Sunlight and storms
    Story of my life…

  6. cordieb Says:

    My thoughts exactly. I often have to force myself from creativity…because as you say, we do love them. I believe most artist and writers have a somewhat hermit-style personality. I for one can become quite self absorbed….I know it isn’t right but it seems to keep me sane, if you know what i mean…

    I know exactly what you mean…on the other hand, we are who we are and our friends should really understand that I think.

  7. UCPgirl Says:

    However, I have felt more lonely in the company of other people than I have ever felt on my own.
    How Beautifully said and so true. Fifth decade also. Are we figuring out what life is all about?

    Probably we are…time and what we do with it is too precious, yes? And welcome to my blog, UCPgirl.

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