Relationships: True Intimacy

True intimacy is achieved when you feel safe enough to be emotionally naked with your partner.  You know your partner will not try to talk you out of your authentic feelings, will not say you’re “over-reacting”,  will not try to fix it, and will not ignore you. You know you will be supported and validated no matter what you’re feeling and sharing, verbally or otherwise.  You know you will receive empathy.This is love, pure and simple…

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5 Responses to “Relationships: True Intimacy”

  1. vanessaleighsblog Says:

    Emotionally naked.

    Hell, yes!!!

    My beloved and I have gone through so much in our thirteen years. She trusted me with so much, yet, she kept so much close to herself, from me and every one in her life. Probably, even from herself.

    However, when I came back to her two years ago, I decided that one of the things I had to do differently was to let go, to stop demanding that she do it my way by pouring out her thoughts, that if she really felt so connected to me she SHOULD be telling me everything.

    Now, she tells me so much, she shares he trueness of her soul with me so freely, and she is a terrific listener also. We both have grown, and now I can’t imagine my life without her in it, until death do us part……

    I’m so glad things have worked out so beautifully for you, Vanessa.

  2. J Says:

    I have been on my own for quite a long time and have learned (and still am learning) to be “emotionally naked” with myself.
    I spent most of my life scolding myself and telling myself that I was never good enough. Whenever I was in a relationship I usually gave my partner the power over my happiness (if that makes any sense!) but now I have no other choice than to be responsible for my own happiness.

    Maybe I have more to learn before I am ready to be emotionally naked with someone else!

    Bless you

    You know you’re learning what you need to learn in the order you need to learn it J. And so do I. Bless you too.

  3. fibi Says:

    I had this exact conversation with someone last night! Wow.. Serendipity!

    I love this post & I long for that kind of relationship – free of fear..

    Yes that certainly is serendipity! I do hope you find it, fibi.

  4. cordieb Says:

    I really like the term emotionally naked. When I first read the sentence, I read naked – skipped all by emotionally. I was thinking. . . if that’s all it takes to be intimate then I must be missing something. lol. Anywho. . . do you really believe that having someone who supports us no matter what constitutes intimacy? Perhaps I’m reading this wrong; but I feel that true intimacy is developed when we are not afraid of not being always supported and vice versa. As we all have times when we don’t have the energy to support and so do our partners. . . I think that understanding this; yet accepting it and still loving ourselves through our own failures and triumphs along with being brave enough to continue to share it with those we are intimate with, regardless…is what constitutes true intimacy. Peace, Light and Love. . . C.

    Well you make a good point here Cordie. None of us is perfect, of course. No, I don’t think I said that having someone who supports us no matter what constitutes true intimacy. I was talking about feeling emotionally safe enough to be who we are, feel what we feel, share with our partners, and be truly authentic. Just like baring it all physically to your partner. Sometimes your partner will respond and become aroused, sometimes your partner may not respond. The important thing is that we don’t take it as personal rejection because we have achieved a state of unconditional emotional safety with our partner. Maybe, as I think about it, its what we should NOT expect from our partners, the negativity factors I metioned. Not ever. The support, we hope for and should give and get most of the time. Does that make sense?

  5. San Says:

    I can only dream of ever having such a relationship with someone, it must be one of the most beautiful and spiritual things!

    It is, but don’t forget how old we are….it takes years of hardship as well as joy to get here…And I so wish that for you my dear.

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