Writer’s Block? Why?

concrete_block1I’ve been laying on my bed with my laptop for the last 20 minutes, which have felt like an hour..I want to write a post today, but my mind keeps going blank..I tried to write yesterday but the same thing happened. Part of it, I guess, is I keep wanting to doze…a lupus flare, of course, after the holiday fun/chaos at our house this year…everything I think of writing about seems too much…too heavy…or I keep editing it before anything ever gets written..so i’m just going to do stream of consciousness and see what happens…

My mother… 78 years old…for once I enjoyed her, felt the bond, it was as it should be all the time, wish it could be so, too much bad history, too much inner conflict for me…the kids, with their whole lives ahead of them, most of mine behind me, one newly married, the other newly engaged, the next generation getting ready to take center stage in our family life…well good, I hope somebody gets a bigger house because ours was too small to hold everyone comfortably this year, i remember when my parents did it all, way back when…and all of us young adults went to their house for the most wonderful Christmas Eve…my dad cooking the linguini with clams, and then the lobster tails, the traditional Italian Christmas Eve dinner…afterwards the extravagant exchange of presents,  each of us opening one at a time, my father reserving the right to open all of his last, then he died of cancer at age 52, diagnosed and told on his last Christmas Eve, a tragedy i cannot write about even 25 years later, but i do, i must, because how can i not wonder how different our lives would all be now, my mother over the years became a recluse, my son would have been in business with him, making lots of money,  rather than struggling to keep his head above water now…oh my, the head is falling forward again, the need to doze so apparent to me now for what it is, a block to painful feelings still locked away, to things i don’t want to think about…

And so I’ll stop writing now, because I don’t want to think about my dad anymore,  because it hurts, and I miss him so…

Is this what all writer’s block is about? A block to exactly what  needs to be thought about, felt, written about? 

We are all writers here. What do you think?

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4 Responses to “Writer’s Block? Why?”

  1. SanityFound Says:

    When I get writers block it is normally because my SubC is busy processing so much that all its energy is going towards that and can’t filter through into my words… once I’m done processing my writing come back to me, I’m able to write about it deeply hidden in metaphors and symbology that makes sense to others.

    I am glad that for once you got an opportunity to enjoy your mother and it wasn’t ruined by such things as the normality of the past. My ears are yours as always *hugs*

  2. leafless Says:

    I don’t know how writers block comes about. But rereading old posts or writings is a great way to overcome it.

  3. lwayswright Says:

    I get writer’s block a lot…or more like writer’s avoidance! there are times I sit and stare at my computer and wonder why I even have one! Eventually it goes away and I start rambling on like a mad woman….and I probably annoy the hec out of most people who read my ramblings!

  4. psychscribe Says:

    lwayswright, your “ramblings” are hardly annoying! 🙂

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