Couples Clue Phone #4

Marriage or a committed relationship is not about “what am I going to get from my partner”. Rather, its about mutual stretching into “what can I do to fulfill my partner’s needs?” Its about mutual giving, not getting. The more you give, the more you get…. But I stress the word mutual. Otherwise its just a whole codependent thing going on, which ultimately brings happiness to no one.

This is the philosophy of Imago Therapy. If you haven’t read about it, you can google Imago Relationship Institute or buy “Getting the Love You Want” by Harville Hendrix. I highly recommend it as a Certified Imago Therapist.


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2 Responses to “Couples Clue Phone #4”

  1. amberfireinus Says:

    I like to call this the circle of positive behaviour. One good action leaves the other person feeling good, and positive towards you which leads them to positive actions towards you thus starting the circle. Its a great way to get on the right track. Problem is, someone has to be the grown up and start.

    Of course the negative circle goes in the opposite way.

  2. Miki Says:

    I couldn´t say it better than Amber, wonderful comment!
    I always noticed in my and other´s life that the more you expect, the less you get, and vice versa. And the more you give, the more you get. It seems to be a very simple law of nature.
    Perhaps because giving is an active behaviour, and expecting a passive behaviour. When you give you produce something, create an entire new field of possibilities. On the contrary, when you expect, you create a kind of hole…
    I know that my explanation is not clear, but perhaps somebody will understand!

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