Intro: I’ve decided to periodically give some very brief tips which may seem obvious to some, but not so to others who are embroiled in a battleground relationship…or at the other end of the spectrum, frozen solid….
Never try to talk your partner out of his or her feelings. Just last night for the umpteenth time a spouse in my office said “But you really shouldn’t feel that way!” This never works because it is logic speaking to emotion. Totally different languages. You may think what you think, but feelings are feelings and the person has a right to them. No one ever talked a person out of how they feel. They may succumb to your logic out of sheer weariness, but trust me the emotion that follows will probably be worse than the one that is now stuffed. Better to try to understand, and express empathy. Your partner will love you for it, and love is what this is supposed to be all about, isn’t it?
Copyright 2008 by Psychscribe