Is it ok to spy on your partner’s email, cell, etc.?

This is often how one partner finds out that another has been having an affair, at least in my office. What do you think about boundary issues here?


4 Responses to “Is it ok to spy on your partner’s email, cell, etc.?”

  1. amberfireinus Says:

    Gosh, I think for once you have me stumped. I can see clearly both sides of the arguement. I guess its up to the individual couple and communication. Its a tough one.

    I did notice that there was a article yesterday on yahoo about if you are getting a divorce you need to clear out your email and cell phone messages…..I thought that was interesting.

  2. Miki Says:

    Well, Psych, this is of course a difficult question. I for certain think that spying on mails, calls, etc is not ok at all!
    I cannot guarantee that I wouldn´t do it if I had strong doubts. I know many persons, most of them, women, who do it all the time, you know, “just to check”… 🙂
    I hope I won´t never get these doubts which force me to behave like that. One might say that it is only a question of trust, but in reality it is not as simple. As we say in Germany:
    “Trust is good, control is better!”
    I hate this saying, by the way, it opens too many windows…
    As I know that I could fail towards my own morals in case of strong doubts, I think that i wouldn´t be too angry with my partner if he would spy me in a similar situation…because I think, if he had strong doubts, it would be MY fault, and not his…

  3. giannakali Says:

    Hi, again, missed this post…I wasn’t online on Valentines day.

    I’ve never looked through any of my husbands private papers/writings emails/ phone messages.

    But I do have to say that if I thought something were going on I probably would.

    The trust in a relationship would have to have been broken down by the time someone does that—or perhaps there never was trust if it’s happening from the get go.

  4. psychscribe Says:

    I think I get what you’re all saying, and can’t help but agree…if you really sensed something was wrong, and talking didn’t get you anywhere, I can see how a person would eel compelled to do this.

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