Predictors of Divorce

John Gottman, a leading researcher in couples relationships, studied couples over time and came up with what he calls the Four Horsemen. Couples who used these communication styles were more likely to end up in divorce: contempt, criticism, stonewalling, and defensiveness. What he suggests instead is to speak with respect rather than contempt, to complain about something rather than to criticize (attack)  the personal characteristics of the other person, responding to the partner rather than shutting down (stonewalling) and owning some part of the complaint as valid rather than being defensive. If you see yourself here you may want to work on your relationship or seek professional help.

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2 Responses to “Predictors of Divorce”

  1. Miki Says:

    I am very very happy, now, Cœur de Rose, I see Kevin and myself in exactly the contrary!!!! Great that we don’t need professional help! 🙂
    But we still need YOU, always…
    And of course, always need to work on the relationship…

  2. divorce » Blog Archive » Predictors of Divorce Says:

    […] Read the rest of this great post here […]

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