Most people start off proclaiming: not me! No way! If my partner was willing to risk our relationship, that would tell me it didn’t mean very much. I could never feel the same.
Its a real hard hit to find out that life just is not black and white. Affairs are one of the most frequent crises that bring people to relationship therapy. The person who had the affair really doesn’t want the marriage or partnership to end, and neither does the person who was cheated on. They usually arrive feeling somewhat dazed, like they can’t believe they’re in my office despite their value systems. Despite their own behavior.
Would you stay? Have you stayed when you never thought you would?