Would You Have Cosmetic Surgery?

When I  was in my 30’s I swore I would NEVER, EVER get any “work done” as they say. It was a big political thing to me…and actually still is…the way the culture promotes…demands…. youth and beauty…. particularly for women… Its as if you’re really not worth anything without it.(Hollywood movies are a perfect examle of this). I loudly defied that value to everyone i knew…I loudly rejected it…not ME i said, blindly looking into my distant future…

Well now, 20 years later, I can see how much I’ve internalized that value…and to be brually honest with myself, I wish with all my heart that I could do the very culturally induced and encouraged medical mutililation (cosmetic surgery) that I protested and none the less inernalized! I cannot risk any unnecessary surgery due to my lupus, yet not a day goes by that I don’t lift my jowls and pull back my neck and think oh! How much better I woud look!

I read a quote somewhere like “Being beautiful is only difficult once you lose it”…I couldn’t agree more….

(This post is a response I made to a post in  Amberfireinus’s Weblog.)

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9 Responses to “Would You Have Cosmetic Surgery?”

  1. Amber Says:

    I have had ALOT of plastic surgery. Its complicated but I needed it to rebuild my entire mid section after 21 operations. (Long story as to what that has to do with my brain, but there ya go). Anyway, I had a massive reconstruction of my abdominal area going all the way around my body. It reduced the hideous scars I had, and now you can hardly see anything. My stomach muscles have all been retightened and placed back where they need to be. Put it this way.. I can now wear a bikini 🙂

    I figured, while I was at it, I might as well have my boobs done too. (that was for asthetics) I had them reduced.

    I also had the fronts of my legs liposuctioned, because I carried my weight strangely in the front rather than the normal saddle bags like most people. Again, that was for me…. I figured I deserved it.

    My husband promised me a nose job for my 40th birthday. I cant get medical clearance at this minute to do it, so Im waiting. Other than that… Im happy with the way I look.

    If you were to look at me right now, you wouldnt say Oh, she’s had a ton of work done. I look only like I was supposed to before I got ill. I didnt intend on looking like a supermodel. Im not trying to be anyone Im not. I had an amazing plastic surgeon who did a beautiful job. You cant see my scars hardly at all. You’d have to know they are there. I feel like he gave me back normal.

    Hi Amber, Good for you! Everyone deserves to look normal.
    I’m glad you were happy with the results. Psychscribe

  2. Carla Says:

    hmmm yeah i have lupus too and can’t get plastic surgery. ironically, i feel i could use some plastic surgery on my neck and developing ‘jowls’ because of the lupus- specifically because of how prednisone has stretched my face out and back again every time i have to go on it for a year at a time 😦
    i want my face back. not to be any better than i ever was, i just don’t want to be 40 and look 50.
    with patience, my turkey neck usually goes away, and now that i have energy i can go back to the gym. dropping 10 pounds is nearly as good as a face lift, and certainly cheaper…
    best wishes

  3. khamisi Says:

    I hate the way hollywood some stars look, especially the men that’s just plain creepy. But maybe one or two face lifts in a person’s life is not such a bad thing. I can never afford it, but I cried a great deal for two to three years and the skin has sagged badly around my eyes, nothing but plastic surgery can fix that.

  4. Miki Says:

    First of all, let me tell you something, Coeur de Rose, that I REALLY think: you are SO beautiful! And I don’t mean your heart or your soul or your brain, I really mean your face. I would say, you have nothing to regret, and many women surely envy you a lot for the freshness and beauty of your face! And I guess many men -sorry, Mr Psych’s Husband!- still find you very attractive!
    I have myself nothing against plastic surgery, but I wouldn’t do it. At least I wouldn’t do it now, because I think it is kind of too late to make it look really natural. If I had a daughter, I would tell her to start very young with it, with 30 perhaps, when the very first small wrinkles start appearing. And to do it regularly then, perhaps every 5 years or so. Then the operations will be minimal each time and the rectifications will look natural. I guess at the end, when you are 60 or 70, doing it like that, you may really win 20 years in the appearance!
    I had a friend who spent half of her time in plastic surgery. I asked once her husband if he liked it. He answered without hesitation:
    “I prefer to have as a wife an artificial beauty rather than a natural crone!”

  5. kevmoore Says:

    Im a bit ambivalent about plastic surgery. On the one hand, its a very useful recourse in my business, where looks are important, and can help you lengthen your career. But Ive seen differing results, obviously the freakshows like wacko jacko and the bride of wildenstein come to mind, but actresses like Julie Christie and a lesser known soap actress from the UK (I forget her name) benefitted greatly. I guess the bottom line is, I would like a bit of a work done, but Im scared of hospitals! 🙂

  6. psychscribe Says:

    Miki- I feel so sorry for your friend that he would say such an awful thing about her!

    Kev, yeah, I can see it in your business…but I truly admire Diane Keaton who obviously has chosen NOT to have work done though surely she could afford to. And sometimes I think to myself, even if i could have plastic surgery, then I would never really know what I looked like when i got old…

    Carla, thanks for the commiseration! My sentiments exactly.

    khamisi, yes, sometimes the men look like talking corpses! i don’t know why, but they just look worse than the women!

  7. Saryna Says:

    I am in the process of being approved for cosmetic surgery. Because I have Lupus, my records are being thoroughly reviewed. I am only 28 years old and have had 2 children and don’t plan on having anymore of my own. I would actually like to adopt some time later in the future. But anyway, I have been so anxious to have the surgery. I had my children young and they “destroyed” my tummy and breasts so I would really like to have the young body I never had the chance to have. I have been searching everywhere for a direct answer about whether or not I will be able to, or even more importantly, if I should go through with it. I have a mild case of Lupus but I do get awful flares at least one a year. All in all, I would like to get what is called the “mommy makeover” which is a breast lift and tummy tuck. I’m not trying to change my overall look because in the end I’ll look exactly the same while my clothes are on 🙂 but I’ll look and feel more confident, especially when the time comes to have clothes off (with my husband, hee hee) and also in a bikini which I haven’t worn since I was about 18. I think if someone is going to alter their appearance, they should be truly doing it for themselves and not for what someone else is going to think.

  8. psychscribe Says:

    Hi Saryna, Welcome! Your feelings make perfect sense to me. Please do let me know what you find out abut if you are indeed a safe candidate for the surgery. Do you have systemic or discoid lupus?

  9. rhiannon Says:

    I am 29 years old I always said I wouldn’t have plastic surgery but about 4years ago I found out I had Discoid Lupus. People stare at me they ask me if I have fallen down,does someone hit me,was I in a car wreck.Now my attitude has changed I would have it in a heartbeat if I could afford it.

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