Lupus – I confess

Well, anyone who follows my blog has probably figured out by now that I have lupus.  I hide behind my screen name on this because I’m afraid my clients will either not want to work with a therapist who has a chronic illness, or feel like they need to take care of me. I realize the word “confess” in the subject line sounds like I feel like I’ve done something wrong. I don’t. I just mean I confess to the truth  that I’ve sort of, kind of, been hiding in my blog. There are some patients of mine who have the link to this blog. These are paients I have a longstanding relationship with who I trust will not draw back in horror. And who I trust are healthy enough to handle this infomation.

I think I’ve chosen to come out of the closet on this because there is a stigma about having it, much as people whispered about someone having cancer when I was growing up.   Or else people don’t know what on earth it is, or have heard only horror stories. I will tell you my story in a subsequent post. I want to raise public awareness about this disease and as of this post, I’ve had a defining moment! And it feels good.  It also feels good to me because lupus affects mostly women,  and I have always been a champion of womens issues.      To be continued….

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5 Responses to “Lupus – I confess”

  1. amberfireinus Says:

    My Dear,

    How sad that you feel as though being ill is something that could cause you or others to be ashamed or uncomfortable. Its not like you have some horrible disfigurement or something that is unpleasant about your physical being which would make people feel repulsed by you. Being ill is not your fault, you did not choose this for yourself. God chose it. And you have lessons to learn from and to teach from it.

    To me, the fact that you are ill, and have challenges in your own life makes you a better therapist and healer to others. You have that depth of experience. To me, its always easier for me to relate to people that have real challenges in their lives and who are real and authentic in that.

    I too, understand not wanting to shout out that you are ill to the world. Does that make you less than? Does that make you somehow defective? We all have our issues. Lupus is one of yours. No one person’s issues are any worse than anyone else’s. Pain and issues are personal.

    It must have taken alot of courage for you to “come out” on this issue. I applaud you. I know others will too.

  2. psychscribe Says:

    amberfireinus: thank you so much for your empathic and lovely response. It actually brought tears to my eyes and was really a help. Yes, it is an issue I still need to work on. Only those who have been there can really understand…my family tries, they really do, but this post touched me more than you will ever know. thank you.

  3. stacibo Says:

    I am newer to your blog and did not know but I applaud you for your courage. My mother is a therapist and I really understand what it means to step outside the frame in this way. As someone who is also a practitioner (but not a therapist), it is a constant balance to decide how much of oneself to share and in the context of working with a client, and when we share it’s important to ask ourselves the honest question of who benefits the most from the sharing.

    Your integrity as I’ve witnessed it on this blog is strong and I believe that how you hold your challenges can be a well of healing for those who are lucky enough to be in relationship with you.

    Whether your clients realize it or not, they are lucky that you are integrating all parts of yourself into your work.

    Blessings for your courage,

  4. psychscribe Says:

    Tjhank you, stacibo…i am again…greatly moved…and honored by your words….

  5. cordieb Says:

    I also applaud you for your courage. I’m new to this blog, but I’ve enjoyed all I’ve read. I have a friend, a very close friend, who was diagnosed with lupus over 10 years ago. She manages very well; She has faith and a good spirit, as from your reading, I feel you have also. Not to regress, but my friend loss her daugher to murder, her husband to cancer and was diagnosed with lupus in the same year. She remained strong and encouraging to all; and I feel guilty each time that I complain about something trivial. I know in my heart of heart that you will be just fine.

    Hi CordieB, thank you so much for your warm, kind, encouraging words. God bless you
    and your friend as well. Warmly, Psych

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