Our Vulnerability as Parents

I remember quite well holding my first child in my arms and thinking: Oh my God. I am now so completely vulnerable now that I have you. And we are, as parents, aren’t we? For me, the vulnerability comes in three ways. First, loss of the primary connection as they evolve through different life stages. New ones are formed, but they are different…it is never the same…the connection weakens as they form new ones away from us…as they’re suppposed to… Change always involves loss, doesn’t it… And loss is pain until we make some meaning of it…

 Another vulnerability is the pain of watching them make choices that hurt them and having to stand by and do nothing….because if we try they won’t listen anyway! Not that I listened to MY parents as I made various choices in my life! But then, that is THEIR learning experience, isn’t it…wouldn’t it be nice if we could just inject them with all our painful life experience!

Finally, the vulnerability we have to their suffering and pain, both physical or mental….how it hurts to watch our children suffer….what does it mean? I don’t know…but I think that’s part of the whole journey of life…to make some meaning of it all…for me that meaning is faith….

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One Response to “Our Vulnerability as Parents”

  1. stacibo Says:

    I really appreciate your perspective as a mother of adult children. Mine are tweenage and I am very much experiencing my daughter beginning to find her wings. It’s exhilerating and frightening because while I support her independence, I don’t trust the world to hold her with as much intention and love as we have. But that’s the point, she needs to learn to hold herself and hopefully we model this in our family daily. All we can do is what we can do, eh?

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