So how do we define ourselves?

We have so many roles, personally, professionally, relationally.  Do we define ourselves by some of these, a combination of these, or something else at our core?

Think about it…if you will…and tell me what you think.


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11 Responses to “So how do we define ourselves?”

  1. springshiny Says:

    Your question is quite interesting. And since you appear to be a therapist, I am not much suprised by it!!! I pondered on your question and found that in these days of chaotic living, I seldom get the time to reflect on how I would define myself! I simply dont know. I would like to believe certain things about myself but are those qualities and attitudes the real me? I dont know.

  2. exactscience Says:

    If you want to see the measure of a person look at his friends and how they treat those around them.

    I define myself in many ways, in many roles mostly fluid, but in the middle are my friends and how I treat those around me.

  3. springshiny Says:

    Do you mean to say that if I have friends of all sorts – some very practical and cool headed, others pretty volatile and spontaneous – then does it mean that I have both the qualities in me?

  4. psychscribe Says:

    Hi springshiny,
    I hope you can help me out here. This is my first blog and I’m not sure about the dialogue process…When you asked your question here, was it addressed to me or to the previous poster, exactscience? Thanks for your help! Psychscribe

  5. springshiny Says:

    Very honestly I had not given attention to the writer of that statement. I had responded to the statement made by exactscience, I realise. Since this is my first blog also, hence all the confusions I presume… But I would love to know ur thoughts on the subject too..

  6. exactscience Says:

    What I mean is this.
    You get to pick your friends. Your friends are living representations of yourself, if taken as a whole. In a similar way that we post to blogs or flickr or youtube in a hope that we can same something about ourself in the things we find interesting we do the same with friends.

    This seems inarticulate, but basically our friends represent what we find interesting in others and this can be a huge range – I don’t like everything about all of my friends but trends arise. What we find interesting represents a truer role that what is seen just looking at the person alone.

    I am studying to be a pharmacist, I have a lot of friends who are pharmacists, but I also have a lot of friends who are writers, musicians and artists (some fill a dual role) point is I alone fill the role of a pharmacy student, but in my heart and tragic teenager poetry I also have the role of artist

  7. psychscribe Says:

    springshiny, I think that everyone defines themselves differently – One person might consider herself to be a wife and mother; another person might consider herself to be a wife, mother, and doctor; another a wife, mother, doctor and incurable optimist (I think I’ve covered all the suggestions in my original post?)- depends on the value each person places on the roles… But the core thing…Now we’re getting somewhere…That’s the real question, isn’t it? In my humble opinion that’s where our spirituality lies….

  8. springshiny Says:

    what both of u are saying – I fully agree with that… That has been my experience too. Till the time I was in the city where I had grown up, I was mostly defined as a responsible daughter, an effective and accessible teacher, a mediocre professional and a self willed individual, in other words a bull headed person!! When I shifted base to a bigger city where nobody knew me, I started defining myself differently. Still there are certain qualities and attitudes that are common but I have evolved into more that what I used to be. There were many aspects which I thought were either not me or beyond me.

  9. Idetrorce Says:

    very interesting, but I don’t agree with you

  10. psychscribe Says:

    I would love to hear your opinion 🙂

  11. Howard MacKinnon Says:

    Great article, and Blog! I found you doing some research and looking for some very good blogs that are dealing with relationships and marriage, but especially all the aspects of divorce… Because, I believe that it has and will always be a factor of communication that is the key to any good relationship and that the lack of it, is where the trouble starts for every marriage… Whether it be money, alcohol and drugs, adultery, pornography or and abuse in every form of mental, spiritual, and yes physical will all lead back to one thing, and that is no real communication… Keep up the good work on all of our behalf’s. Thank you, Howard M.

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